grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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