Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
