Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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