hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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