The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
