oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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