My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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