I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
