Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
