if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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