there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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