He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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