thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're too hungover to prance.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize