I feel great
I just peed on a car
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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