Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
