Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
