Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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