we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
