This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
