he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
