He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
