I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Randomize
