It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize