i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
