i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
