i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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