just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just cropdusted the office
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
