its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
