I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
