Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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