I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
