Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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