I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
