I want to stick my p in your. b.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
