I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
