I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize