You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
