Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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