So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
