Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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