My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
