One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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