she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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