Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize