My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
