Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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