Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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