i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
