I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i need some magic done to my vagina
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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