is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
