she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
