he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
