i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
