Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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