all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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