So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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