His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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